Hempfest ‘09
It is no surprise that my two-legs does not like people. Scratch that. He likes watching and observing people, but that generally means you have to be around them… unless you have either powerful binoculars or a camera with a paparazzi-style lens (which he does on both counts). One of the largest gatherings of “people” in the Seattle area is Hempfest. Year after year, waves upon waves of dirty, pot smoking hippies swarm to Seattle’s Myrtle Edwards Park to smoke pot support legalization, express their love for brownies humanity, build up a customer base grassroots movement, and overall just hang out and listen to noise music.
This was my two-legs second year in attendance. And while four-legs are not technically allowed, everyone there was too high to stop us. Read on.
Phase 1: Infiltration
- Like a swarm of red-eyed locusts they descend.
We began by scouting around the primary entrance. This was midday on Saturday. It was packed to the brim. Myrtle Edwards Park is a perfect place to cage hippies. To the West is Puget Sound. Hippies hate water (just go smell one). To the East is a set of railroad tracks, bordered with high fences. At the North end are two small footpaths, one of which crosses aforementioned tracks. And to the South is the primary entrance. Pictured above. We opted to walk the extra mile up to the northern, less heavily guarded entrance. Along the way we met this charming fellow:
A small contingent of hippies trekked with us.
He was taking a break from HempFest to try to find a place to get some beer around here. We directed him to a Shell station half a mile back. Cottonmouth is a dangerous health hazard that affects many fest-goers. As we talked with the hippies we seemed to gain their trust. It is easy for me to blend in with a crowd. I am small, and my hair was pretty shaggy that day. My two-legs is a different story. If there was every a poster boy for a dorky narc, he is it. Add to that the fact he was carrying his giant camera with him. I was so embarrassed.
Phase 2: The chicken is in the Pot
This is the "tame" side of the event
We entered the loosely fenced off area and began to soak up the fun. Pretty standard fare if you ask me. Lots of two-legs, just wandering aimlessly around. Sometimes stopping to look at hemp clothes and bongs, or stand and sway for a few moments in front of the many music stands where generic beats keep tempers low. Mellow man.
Out of the pier, away from the hippies, provides a pretty good shot.
We typically stayed toward the fringes of the event. This was out on the fishing pier. Hippies on the rocks, hippies on the ground, hippies in tents. There was no escape. The big grey thing is the grain tower. The weird art deco thing is the Space Needle. The largest white tent was playing rave music, not typically hippie fare, unless they need to swing those tennis balls in socks like they like to do. The breeze was blowing the sweet smell of freedom inland.
Phase 3: Mary Jane and Me
We were about halfway through, sticking to the coast.
This is probably about half a mile from the last picture. Definitely headed into pot infested waters up ahead. Most of the canopies belong to food vendors. Delicious food. It was really odd though, my sense of smell could not really pick up on any tasty treats, a local source was overpowering it. I did manage to score half a brownie when my two-legs was not looking. Pretty tasty.
This was what my two-legs saw. I just saw ankles.
And then we were trapped. No movement. No direction. Just people. More and more kept piling on behind us. And no one seemed to care. They all just sort of shuffled around and chatted and toked. No pushing. No yelling. Just “This is really strange, man.” and “Do you think we’ll start moving.” We were now about 1000 feet from freedom the main entrance. It turns out, so many people were trying to come in, and so many other people were to leave, it just sort of bottle-necked. And then all order collapsed. My two-legs stood there for a while, then realized nothing was happening, and he was not high so milling around is no fun. We then did a 180 to make it back to the North entrance.
Phase 4: Escape
Going back was basically just like coming in. Push through the hippies.
My two-legs has a pretty good eye for composition. The banner in the background with the event title. The giant pot leaf. And two-legs from all walks of life. Old guy. Shirtless dude. Teeny boppers. Psychedelic shirt guy. Middle aged hippies. Truly all the colors of the rainbow here.
Getting out was pretty easy. Bobbed and weaved. Inhale deeply. Check out the scenery.
This two-legs was making crazy sounds come out of this stick. It fascinated the hippies.
Phase 5: Rest
All in all it was pretty darn fun. I got to explore all afternoon with my two-legs and he got to take pictures and observe other two-legs. And the best part is big-little-bro did not get to come. Karma for all the times the skirted-one takes him on walks without me. I will bet he never gets to taste colors like I did.