The Ruffles Report

If you look directly to your right (note this will only work if this is the top post and/or you have not rotated your screen and/or my two-legs has not jacked up the theme again) you will notice that I have joined Twitter. That is right fair readers, now you can get constant, mundane thought-provoking little nuggets of randomness wisdom from your four-legged friend. Unlike some tweeters (looking at you polythink) I intend to post at least once a day. I am one step closer to becoming an Internet sensation.

If you direct your gaze further down the sidebar, you will notice a second Twitter account. “What? You’re going to post on two separate Twitter accounts?” No, gentle readers, you will only have to follow me in one place. I am trying to keep my Interweb chatter to a healthy minimum. There are however certain cold, dank corners of the Intertubes where shady, unscrupulous ilk live who like to impersonate innocent puppies, celebrities, organizations, and just about anyone they want. Sometimes this is unavoidable, for instance if you happen to have a common name. This happens to my two-legs all the time. With a surname of Taylor (15th most frequently occurring last name in 2000 census, down five spots from ‘90) and a given name of Michael (most popular boy’s name in 1983 and 4th most frequent male first name in 1990 census) it can be quite difficult to find him amongst the plethora of Michael Taylors inhabiting the blogosphere and Twitterverse (my two-legs loves this slight edge of anonymity it gives him). Other times it is for far more malicious purposes meant to draw in unsuspecting Twits for nefarious purposes or to simply increase their follower/following count.

Ruffles is fairly uncommon surname. There are a number of Ruffleses out there, most appear to be in EU as they don’t show up in US Census data. But Ruffles is not my surname, it is my given name. I have yet to come across another being with a first name of Ruffles (OK, once there was this other four-legs at the dog park named Ruffles. She was a girl, and a schnauzer but things got complicated so I try to block it out). This should be a fairly easy process to find me. So, do a search for Ruffles on Twitter. I will wait. Done it? No? OK, I will help. Click here. Ok, scroll down the list, let us see here. The first three look legit, various two-legs with a last name of Ruffles. Hmm, Mr_Ruffles eh? PinkandRuffles? oh my… Ah, MrRuffles_ (not to be confused with Mr_Ruffles) appears to be a bunny. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. rufflesthedogg? Wait, my name is Ruffles. And I am a dog (though in my world dog has only one “g”). His “name” appears to be “Ruffles aka Ruff-Man.” Huh? My two-legs calls me Ruff-man. What is going on here? From Seattle? I live in Seattle. Ok, 11 updates over a brief 16 day period. Updates include talking about birds, napping, eating, sleeping, and more napping. That is exactly what I will post about!

There you have it. It appears that some ne’re-do-well has pilfered my identity! And they already have 14 followers! I have no followers…

So this is why I need you, my readers, to start following me. It is the only way for me to boost my ratings in the world of Twitter. I must oust this imposter from his lofty height of hit number 13 in a query for ruffles. Click on “Constant updates by me” header to the right where you will be taking a stirring page containing my updates and a tiny picture (with my crazy beard that my two-legs recently shaved off). If you do not have a Twitter account, sign up, it is easy. While I fully expect Twitter to wither and die in next few years (or explode and die which would be much cooler) it can still be fun to be on what is now the butter knife’s edge of technology.

On another Meta related note. It appears that my two-legs has been man-handling my themes again. I have him do it as I tried to myself and got confused with all the widgets and sidebars and skins and plug-ins and stuff. This new one is pretty cool I guess. Still not me though, ya know?